Sensational Social Skills: Good Mistakes

Today's Sensational Social Skills blog will focus on being okay with mistakes, good mistakes. We often hear from our teachers that some students struggle to learn new skills because they are afraid to make mistakes or they become very defensive when given correction. Some students are easily frustrated by the mistakes of others.

We will share strategies for teaching students to look at mistakes in a different way using the Pillars of Performance (PoP) framework. PoP is a framework we use to help students acquire and apply social skills. These four pillars include: PRACTICE, PRIME, PROMPT & PRAISE. We have created a series of PoP cards to directly teach critical social skills.


First, introduce the concept of good mistakes with a social narrative like the one below:

Social Narrative: Nobody likes to make mistakes but mistakes help us learn. To learn something new you don’t just sit down and do it perfectly the first time. You have to be willing to make mistakes so you can practice, learn and get better. There are different kinds of mistakes. A good mistake shows you are brave and you are making an effort to learn something new. A careless mistake is when you don’t care and you don’t make any effort to do it the right way. Keep trying and learning from those good mistakes and you will be great!



Click the image below for a free handout of the Good Mistakes PoP card. Print, cut, and laminate the card to use as a visual support when teaching this skill.

Let’s PRACTICE!
In order to master any skill, you need to deliberately practice the skill. This makes it much easier to apply the skill in the moment when you need it the most. Try some of these practice activities to strengthen skills. Repeat, repeat, then repeat.

1. Learn how mistakes are opportunities for learning- Help your student understand the difference between good mistakes that are needed for learning (stretch mistakes), and making errors without a desire to learn (careless mistakes). For more information on four types of mistakes check out this blog post from Mindset Works:

Mistakes Are Not All Created Equal

Raise awareness by talking about your own mistakes or reading stories about characters who make mistakes. Consider how you respond to mistakes to model a growth mindset. Check out this blog post from Very Well Family:

When Your Child Makes a Mistake

Learn about famous inventions that happened because of a mistake. Check out these videos of important interventions that happened by accident:

2. Say Okay to Corrections- Help your student practice the skill of responding to mistakes in a calm and productive way. Teach with a growth mindset approach and encourage the use of scripts such as, “oops, I can learn from that.” Teach your student to say “okay” to corrections. To practice this, present a task that is unfamilar with the goal of reinforcing the student each time they respond to a mistake in a positive way. Make it a fun and positive experience to help your student become more comfortable with making good mistakes. Reinforce expected responses by having the student earn a point or reward each time they say “okay” to a correction.

3. Use a Calming Strategy- Help the student identify a quick in-the-moment calming strategy such as deep breathing or palm presses. Practice using this calming technique regularly. By implementing this calming strategy at the start of the task and as needed throughout the task, the student may be better able to manage frustration. Here is one example of a calming strategy you can try (Click the image to download a copy for yourself!): 

4. Quality Checklist- Create a quality checklist that breaks the task into small, sequential steps and includes quality assurance steps such as checking with the teacher and making corrections. By including these steps on the checklist, making corrections will be a normal and expected part of the process. When a checklist is presented, keep in mind it may take practice and encouragement before your student can use the checklist effectively and independently. By adding a preferred activity at the bottom of the checklist you can motivate them to get through it. 

Time to PRIME!

Use the priming bullets on the Good Mistakes card to review the strategies you have practiced. What self-script can they use to coach themselves when they make a mistake or are corrected. If these strategies are fresh in the mind of your student, the student is more likely to apply the strategies. Make a point of reviewing these strategies prior to starting a challenging or non-preferred task. Present the quality checklist with steps needed for completion. Be sure to point out the expectations of checking work and making corrections. Next, have the student engage in the calming strategy for a minute or more. These are all strategies that have been practiced so the student should be very familiar with how to implement them. The priming session should be a positive pep talk to review these strategies and instill confidence in your student. By priming the student, you are setting them up for success.


Click on the image below for a FREE social story:

PROMPT
Even with a priming session, the student may become frustrated or defensive while working on the task. Use the Good Mistake card as an in-the-moment, nonverbal prompt to respond in a positive way. If the student continues to be frustrated, prompt or model the use of the calming strategy.

Keep in mind that some students may become defensive or further escalate when given direct verbal prompting. If so, you can just present the Good Mistakes card as a nonverbal reminder.



Give PRAISE!
This final pillar is the most important. We know that in order to increase any skill we need to actively reinforce the skill. Any time you notice that the student is responding positively to corrections or mistakes, provide verbal or nonverbal praise/reinforcement. When using the quality checklist, it will be important that you follow through with the reward that was written at the bottom of the checklist. Facilitate intrinsic reinforcement for your student by developing pride in their work and point out what they have learned. Some students are motivated by adult approval while some older students may be more motivated by peer approval. 

That’s it! Those are the 4 pillars to teach your students how to respond to good mistakes. Each pillar is important in supporting the application and generalization of this critical skill. Taking the time to implement all 4 pillars will result in the outcome you want. It may take some time so be patient and have fun with it. Teaching the skill with a positive attitude will help the student develop a positive association with the strategies. Developing your student’s confidence and ownership of the goal will help your student succeed.