Sensational Social Skills: Respond to Others

Let’s face it; no one likes to be ignored. When someone ignores us, we may think they are rude or angry. This can have a negative impact on relationships. There are many reasons a student may ignore others. Understanding the reasons and teaching students how to respond in expected ways will help them develop positive relationships and feel successful. Today's Sensational Social Skills will provide strategies for teaching students to Respond to Others. 

To teach your student how to respond to others in an expected way, we implement the Pillars of Performance (PoP) framework below.  PoP is a framework we use to help students acquire and apply social skills. These pillars include: PRACTICE, PRIME, PROMPT & PRAISE.  

First, introduce the concept of responding to others with a social narrative like the one below:

Social Narrative:  Responding to others is important. When you ignore people, they may think you didn’t hear them or you didn’t understand. They may worry that you are mad or that you just don’t care. If a person tosses you a ball, you catch it and throw it back. Think of responding as a game of catch. You don’t have to say much. Just acknowledge the person in a thoughtful way. When you respond to others in a pleasant way, you will build positive relationships that will keep you feeling happy.

Click the image below for a free handout of the Respond to Others PoP card.  Print, cut out and laminate the card to use as a visual support when teaching this skill.

Let’s PRACTICE!

Practice makes perfect. In order to master any skill you need to deliberatly practice the skill. This makes it much easier to apply the skill in the moment when you need it the most. Try some of these practice activities to strengthen skills. Repeat, repeat, then repeat.

1. Catch it and toss it back- When you greet students in the morning, get their attention and toss them a ball. Make it super easy to catch or pretend with an “invisible” ball. Encourage them to catch the ball and return the ball back to you with a greeting. You can also do this activity when asking students questions. The goal of this activity is to teach students to reciprocate. When asking questons, be sure to allow plenty of time for the student to process the question and formulate a response (up to 30 seconds).  If your student does not have the language to answer questions, provide multiple choice with text or pictures.  Here is an example of students answering questions using picture supports. 

2. Scripting- If your student struggles to respond due to limited language skills or social anxiety, use the scripting strategy to teach scripts they can use for specific situations. Create scripts to meet specific communication needs. Practice these scripts before expecting them to be used in natural social interactions. Teach your student general response strategies using the SPLAT handout. Create a visual tool with these letters so you can remind your student to apply specific scripts in the moment. Click the images below to access these handouts.

3. Catch it and keep it- If your student does not want to interact for some reason, teach them a polite way to disengage. When practicing scripts, practice both verbal and nonverbal communication. The student can use a script, write a note or use gestures to respond. Consider why the student does not want to engage. Are they overwhelmed, unsure or upset? Help them feel calm. Provide them with communication supports. Some students don’t know how to deal with conflict and may withdraw. Click the image below for some tips to responding to conflict in a nice way.

4. Use a Calming Strategy- Help the student identify a quick in-the-moment calming strategy. Practice this regularly so it can be used when the student feels overwhelmed or too upset to respond.  Deep breathing is a great strategy that can be done on the spot. Click below for some tips on breathing to relax. 

Time to PRIME!

 

 

Use the priming bullets on the Respond to Others card to review the strategies you have practiced. If these strategies are fresh in the mind of your student, the student is more likely to apply the strategies. Make a point of reviewing these strategies prior to situations where you find your student withdrawing and ignoring others.  Provide scripts to help your student with specific response language. If your student prefers to write their response, provide notepaper or a dry erase board. Review the SPLAT strategies. Next, have the student engage in the calming strategy for a minute or more.  These are all strategies that have been practiced so the student should be very familiar with how to implement them. The priming session should be a positive pep talk to review these strategies and instill confidence in your student.  If the student does not like to talk about it, simply give them the card or scripts as a visual reminder. By priming the student, you are setting them up for success.

PROMPT

Even with a priming session, the student may struggle to respond in the moment.  Remember to allow plenty of time for your student to initiate a respond before you begin prompting. You can point to the respond image on the card or the appropriate script. If you or the student has a visual SPLAT reminder, you can point to the specific letter to prompt the needed strategy. If the student is becoming frustrated or overwhelmed, prompt or model the use of the calming strategy.

Give PRAISE!

Our final pillar is the most important. We know that in order to increase any skill we need to actively reinforce the skill.  Any time you catch the student responding in an expected way, give praise. If your student does not like verbal attention in front of peers, you can devise a subtle way to reinforce such as giving thumbs up, a sticker or a written note. 

 

That’s it! Those are the 4 pillars to teach your students to respond to others. Each pillar is important in supporting the application and generalization of these critical skills. Taking the time to implement all 4 pillars will result in the outcome you want. It may take some time, so be patient and have fun with it. Teaching the skill with a positive attitude will help the student develop a positive association with the strategies. Developing your student’s confidence and ownership of the goal will help your student succeed.