Sensational Social Skills: Listen to Others

Listening to others is a critical social skill that allows people to engage in a meaningful way. We know that listening is more than hearing. Listening involves being able to filter out competing auditory information. It requires focus and the ability to process language (both verbal and nonverbal) and connect it to what we already know. 

This week's Sensational Social Skill will feature strategies to help students learn to listen to others using the Pillars of Performance (PoP) framework. PoP is a framework we use to help students acquire and apply social skills. These pillars include: PRACTICE, PRIME, PROMPT & PRAISE.  We have created a series of PoP cards to directly teach critical social skills.  

First, introduce the concept of listening to others with a social narrative like the one below:

Social Narrative:  Listening to others is a super skill for many reasons.  You can get important information from the other person.  Listening to another person will help you build a positive relationship. When you listen you have the information to make better choices in what you do and say. Sometimes it is hard to listen. Here are some tricks to help you be a better listener:

Click the image below for a free handout of the Listen to Others PoP card.  Print, cut out and laminate the card to use as a visual support when teaching this skill.

Let’s PRACTICE!

Practice makes perfect. In order to master any skill your student will need to deliberatly practice the skill. This makes it much easier to apply the skill in the moment when it is needed the most. Try some of these practice activities to strengthen skills. Repeat, repeat, then repeat.

1. Listen Position- Teach students to respond to the key word “listen” by turning their body towards  you and facing you.  Make it a game by calling out this prompt word at random times across the day and reinforcing the students who respond with the “listen position”. Some students may experience difficulty shifting their attention and will need additional prompting to gain their focus (say their name, tap arm). Keep in mind that their inattention is not purposful so be patient.  Understand that your student may not be able to give you direct eye contact due to sensory overload (common for students with autism). Instead, focus on whole body listening by teaching students to direct their body and face toward the person who is speaking. The best “listen postion” may look different for some students. Check out his article on “Whole Body Listening” from Social Thinking. 

2. Breathe and Focus - Help  students practice deep breathing to calm and clear the mind. Calming the mind can help to quiet the mental chatter allowing the students to focus on hearing and absorbing what the speaker is saying.  Practice deep breathing regularly so that it becomes an easy strategy to use in the moment. Click below for information on breathing to relax.

3. Look and Listen for Important Details - Teach students to listen with their ears and eyes for important details.  To practice, have students read a story with pictures, watch a film clip or particpate in role playing. Provide a visual to help them recall the who, what, where, when, how and why of the story, situation or conversation. Help students process clues from nonverbal information such as the setting, body language, facial expressions and tone of voice.

4. Connect & Clarify- Teach students to connect what they hear to what they already know.  Teach them to ask clarifying and thoughtful questions or make related comments that help them engage with the speaker.  Provide visual support tools to practice this skill in structured practice activities.

Time to PRIME!

Use the priming bullets on the Listen to Others card to review the strategies you have practiced. If these strategies are fresh in the mind of your student, the student is more likely to apply the strategies. Make a point of reviewing these strategies prior to situations where the student may struggle with active listening. Provide graphic organizers to help focus listening.  Finally, have the student engage in the calming strategy for a minute or more to improve focus.  These are all strategies that have been practiced so the student should be very familiar with how to implement them. The priming session should be a positive pep talk to review these strategies and instill confidence in your student.  If the student does not like to talk about it, simply give them the card as a visual reminder. By priming the student, you are setting them up for success.

PROMPT

Even with a priming session, the student may become distracted and unable to listen. As the adult, consider what you can do in the moment to help:

·         gain student attention (say name, tap arm or desk in a respectful, non-punitive way)

·         reduce the complexity of your language, state what to do

·         allow additional time (up to 30 seconds) for student to process before re-prompting

·         refer to visual supports (PoP card, graphic organizer, other related supports)

·         remove competing auditory input (consider noise, music or other nearby conversations)

·         provide a fidget or alternative seating to support regulation

·         prompt or model the use of a calming strategy (if the student is showing signs of frustration or dysregulation)

Use the Listen to Others card as an in-the-moment visual prompt to focus on listening.

Give PRAISE!

Our final pillar is the most important. We know that in order to increase any skill we need to actively reinforce the skill.  Any time you notice that the student is listening to others, give them praise.  If you don’t want to distract others you can give praise nonverbally with a thumbs-up, a sticker or a written note. Remember that it is much easier to notice disruptive behavior, so you will need to make a conscious effort to catch and reinforce the expected behavior.

That’s it! Those are the 4 pillars to teach your student how to be an active listener. Each pillar is important in supporting the application and generalization of this critical skill. Taking the time to implement all 4 pillars will result in the outcome you want. It may take some time so be patient and have fun with it. Teaching the skill with a positive attitude will help the student develop a positive association with the strategies. Developing your student’s confidence and ownership of the goal will help your student succeed.