Sensational Social Skills: Be Kind

Do you have a student who always needs to win the game or be first in line? Some students struggle to think beyond themselves. This may impact their ability to develop positive relationships with peers. This week's Sensational Social Skills will feature strategies to help students make others happy using the Pillars of Performance (PoP) framework. 

PoP is a framework we use to help students acquire and apply social skills. These pillars include: PRACTICE, PRIME, PROMPT & PRAISE.  We have created a series of PoP cards to directly teach critical social skills.  

First, introduce the concept of thinking of others with a social narrative like the one below:

Social Narrative:   Going first, being right or winning the game feels good and makes us happy.  Everyone can’t be first or win every time. When you let others go first or you are a good sport when they win, they like being with you because you make them happy. Practice thinking of others and being kind and you will make friends and be happy!

Click the image below for a free handout of the Be Kind PoP card.  Print, cut out and laminate the card to use as a visual support when teaching this skill. 

Let’s PRACTICE!

Practice makes perfect. In order to master any skill your student will need to deliberately practice the skill. This makes it much easier to apply the skill in the moment when it is needed the most. Try some of these practice activities to strengthen skills. Repeat, repeat, then repeat.

1. Okay to lose- Play a simple game. Have the student practice going second or even last. The goal of the game is to play and lose with a positive attitude. The activity should be quick, so you can start a new game, providing plenty of opportunities to practice and praise this skill.  Give points or stickers each time the student responds in a positive way.  If the student struggles with not being first in line, create a visual to show a rotation of placement. This will provide structure and predictability to reduce anxiety.

2. Use a Calming Strategy- Help the student identify a quick in-the-moment calming strategy such as deep breathing or palm presses. Practice regularly so this strategy can be applied when the student is feeling anxious about losing or peer conflict. Click below to try some nature themed calming strategies from the Best Friend Books book MindFun.

3. Think about the other person- Use cartooning as a visual strategy to practice guessing what the other person is thinking in different scenarios. Draw stick figures with thought bubbles showing what people are thinking when someone lets them go first or congratulates them when they win.  Show what people are thinking when a person yells or becomes angry when they don’t win. It may not always be fair. Did the winner win because of skill or luck? Help the learner understand that most people have good intentions and just want to have fun. Click below to learn more about cartooning.

4. Say something nice- Create scripts (written or picture strips) to teach the student what to say in response to loosing or conflict. Replace “you always win, not fair” with “you are good, teach me how to win”. Use role playing to practice the script as you would practice for a play. Focus on positive responses for typically challenging situations. Click below to learn more about scripting.

5. Social Behavior Flowchart- Help the student see the long term consequence of being kind and thoughtful. Focus on the green path to make friends. Use this tool to resolve social conflict by considering the thoughts and feelings of others and identifying ways to compromise. Present this tool as a positive planning tool rather than a punative reaction. By giving the student the power to make good choices rather than coercing the student to comply, you will  help develop the students intrinsic desire to take responsibility and do the right thing. Click on the image below to get your free Social Behavior Flowchart!

Time to PRIME!

Use the priming bullets on the Be Kind card to review the strategies you have practiced. If these strategies are fresh in the mind of your student, the student is more likely to apply the strategies. Make a point of reviewing these strategies prior to situations where the student demonstrates anxiety about winning, being first or being right.  If a Social Behavior Flowchart has been completed for a situation that may occur, this is a good time to quickly review it.  If you have been practicing a script, provide a sentence strip to visually prime them for expected language. Finally, have the student engage in the calming strategy for a minute or more.  These are all strategies that have been practiced so the student should be very familiar with how to implement them. The priming session should be a positive pep talk to review these strategies and instill confidence in your student.  If the student does not like to talk about it, simply give them the card as a visual reminder. By priming the student, you are setting them up for success.

PROMPT

Even with a priming session, the student may become anxious or excited and forget to think of others. Use the Be Kind card as an in-the-moment, nonverbal prompt to be kind. If the student is showing signs of escalation, prompt or model the use of the calming strategy. Consider other nonverbal prompts such as tapping on the sentence strip (script) to cue positive language.

 

Give PRAISE!

Our final pillar is the most important. We know that in order to increase any skill we need to actively reinforce the skill.  Any time you notice that the student is thinking of others and being kind, give them praise.  Encourage peers to give positive feedback and facilitate the student’s intrinsic motivation for developing positive relationships.

That’s it! Those are the 4 pillars to teach your student how to be kind and begin developing positive peer relationships.  Each pillar is important in supporting the application and generalization of these critical skills. Taking the time to implement all 4 pillars will result in the outcome you want. It may take some time so be patient and have fun with it. Teaching the skill with a positive attitude will help the student develop a positive association with the strategies. Developing your student’s confidence and ownership of the goal will help your student succeed. 

Taskbox Time: Household Chores and Vocational Tasks at Home

Taskboxes are a great way to organize work tasks for individuals who need predictability and structure. Typically taskboxes should be mastered work tasks that students are capable of completing independently. They should have a clear beginning and end and should only contain the necessary items to do that task. Taskboxes do not need to be contained in a single box. Often as students get older they still need the structure but are able to adapt to larger scale tasks. 

We know with the shift to remote learning it may be hard to share classroom taskboxes and vocational tasks with families so today's Taskbox Time provides some ideas for vocational and household chore taskboxes using common household items:

CDs in disc sleevesLaurie Maravetz
Schaefer Middle School, Springfield

Sorting RecyclingLaurie Maravetz
Schaefer Middle School, Springfield

Sorting couponsBrittany Wendling
Valley Elementary, Beavercreek

Assembling papers with paperclips
Brittany Wendling
Valley Elementary, Beavercreek

Sock folding
Brittany Wendling
Valley Elementary, Beavercreek

Assembling notecards with paperclips
Brittany Wendling
Valley Elementary, Beavercreek

Sorting plasticwareBrittany Wendling
Valley Elementary, Beavercreek

Sorting Bowls

Sorting coins

Sorting cups

Sorting writing utensils

Sorting light and dark laundryRobbie Whorton
Trotwood-Madison High School, Trotwood-Madison

Click the image below for a printable handout that can be shared with families:

Sensational Social Skills: Stay on Track

Some students struggle with poor focus and a lack of motivation or perseveration, this can make it very challenging to complete everyday tasks. This week's Sensational Social Skills will feature strategies for teaching students to stay on track using the Pillars of Performance (PoP) framework. PoP is a framework we use to help students acquire and apply social skills. These pillars include: PRACTICE, PRIME, PROMPT & PRAISE.  We have created a series of PoP cards to directly teach critical social skills.  

First, introduce the concept of staying on track with a social narrative like the one below:

Social Narrative:  Staying on track means sticking with something until it is done. A successful person knows how to stay on track. Staying on track can be hard when the task feels very difficult or really boring.   There are tricks you can use to help you stay on track.  When you stay on track and get things done, you will feel happy and proud!

Click the image below for a free handout of the Stay on Track PoP card.  Print, cut out and laminate the card to use as a visual support when teaching this skill. 

Let’s PRACTICE!

Practice makes perfect. In order to master any skill you need to deliberatly practice the skill. This makes it much easier to apply the skill in the moment when you need it the most. Try some of these practice activities to strengthen skills. Repeat, repeat, then repeat.

Uphill Climb- Identify a task that can be a trigger for frustration such as math or writing.  Set a visual timer for 2 minutes. Ask the student to engage in the task for 2 minutes. Don’t worry if the task is not finished or is incorrect. The student only has to show genuine effort for 2 minutes.. If the student stops trying before the 2 minutes is up, the timer is reset. The goal is to practice persevering through a difficult  task for 2 minutes. When the top of the hill is reached (persevering for 2 full minutes), the student gets a reward.  After a short break, set the timer again. Gradually, the time can be increased.

Use a Calming Strategy- Help the student identify a quick in-the-moment calming strategy such as deep breathing or palm presses. Practice this regularly so it can be used when needed. By implementing this calming strategy at the start of the task and as needed throughout the task, the student  may be better able to stay calm and focus. Here is one example of a calming strategy you can try (click the image below).

There are a variety of calming strategies available. Consult with the student's OT to see if there is something they are practing in therapy sessions that can be generalized in the moment. Another option is using "dots and squeezies" illustrated in the video below:

Find your Focus- When the destination feels far away, it is easy to lose focus and get distracted. Break the task into small, sequential steps and help the student direct focus on each step. Like finding road markers on a long trip, focusing on the next step rather than the whole task can make the task feel less overwhelming. Start with something easy to get things rolling. For example, the first step may be “write your name at the top of the paper”. Create a checklist and have the student  practice checking off  the “road markers” to stay on track to finish the task. Click the image below to access our checklist template. 

Get unstuck- Provide a “help” card as a reminder to try first, then get help. Sometimes a student is stuck on a perseverating and unrelated thought.  If something is on the student’s mind such as a request, complaint or a preferred topic that does not have any impact on the current task, have the student write it down on a piece of paper. Sometimes writing it down can help  to let  it go for the moment. To keep this strategy effective, be sure to look at the paper and address the items when the task is done. 

Time to PRIME!

Use the priming bullets on the Stay on Track card to review the strategies you have practiced. If these strategies are fresh in the mind of your student, the student is more likely to apply the strategies. Make a point of reviewing these strategies prior to starting a challenging or non-preferred task. Present the checklist with steps needed for completion. It helps to identify what will motivate the student to stay on track and write it at the bottom of the checklist. Next, have the student engage in the calming strategy for a minute or more.  These are all strategies that have been practiced so the student should be very familiar with how to implement them. The priming session should be a positive pep talk to review these strategies and instill confidence in your student.  If the student does not like to talk about it, simply give them the card as a visual reminder. By priming the student, you are setting them up for success.

PROMPT

Even with a priming session, the student may become distracted before finishing the task. Use the Stay on Track card as an in-the-moment, nonverbal prompt to get back to work. If the student is easily frustrated, prompt or model the use of the calming strategy.

Consider other nonverbal prompts such as walking by and tapping on the checklist, pointing to the specific step they should be working. If they are unmotivated, point to the reward written at the bottom. Avoid engaging in verbal prompting as this may open the door for off-topic conversation or argumentative behaviors.

Give PRAISE!

Our final pillar is the most important. We know that in order to increase any skill we need to actively reinforce the skill.  Any time you notice that the student is complying and staying on task, give them praise. Look for natural breaks to give praise so that you don’t distract from the task.  You can devise a subtle way to reinforce such as giving thumbs up or a written note.  It will be important that you follow through with the reward that was agreed upon at the start of the task when the task is completed. Facilitate intrinsic reinforcement for your student by developing pride in their work and accomplishments.

That’s it! Those are the 4 pillars to teach your students to stay focused and persevere. Each pillar is important in supporting the application and generalization of these critical skills. Taking the time to implement all 4 pillars will result in the outcome you want. It may take some time so be patient and have fun with it. Teaching the skill with a positive attitude will help the student develop a positive association with the strategies. Developing your student’s confidence and ownership of the goal will help your student succeed. 

For more information on teaching perseverance, check out our previous blog post:

Executive Functioning Forum: Perseverance

Taskbox Time: Matching & Sorting Tasks at Home

Taskboxes are a great way to organize work tasks for individuals who need predictability and structure. Typically taskboxes should be mastered work tasks that students are capable of completing independently. They should have a clear beginning and end and should only contain the necessary items to do that task. 

We know with the shift to remote learning it may be hard to share classroom taskboxes with families so today's Taskbox Time provides some ideas for matching and sorting taskboxes using common household items:

Button sorting
Kirsten Johnson
Greene INC

Paint chip color matching
Taylor Ruef
Stevenson Elementary, Mad River

Match poker chips to visual and package in baggies
Brittany Wendling
Valley Elementary, Beavercreek

Checker sorting

Colored clothespin sorting

Match colored block to colored egg carton slot

Memory game matching 

Match playdoh lids

Click the image below for a printable handout that can be shared with families: