Sensational Social Skills: Waiting

We are excited to premiere a new blog series! Introducing Sensational Social Skills!

Our first topic of the new series will be on teaching the important social skill of waiting. We felt this was a timely topic to address as we are all experiencing the increased need to wait especially with remote learning and social distancing. 

Waiting is a skill we all need and sometimes struggle with when we are tired, stressed or excited.  Just telling our kids to “wait” may not be enough. Applying this skill in the moment can be difficult. Many students struggle with impulsivity. Proactively teaching wait strategies can help them apply this social skill in the moment and make your life easier!

The Pillars of Performance (PoP) is a framework we use to help students acquire and apply social skills. These pillars include: PRACTICE, PRIME, PROMPT & PRAISE.  We have created a series of PoP cards to directly teach critical social skills.  Click the image below for our PoP Card for WAIT: 

Social Narrative:  Sometimes we have to wait for things. Waiting is something we all have to do to get along. When we take someone else’s turn or interrupt others, people feel sad or mad. When we quietly wait our turn, people are happy. If you feel stressed about waiting, don’t worry. There are some tricks use can use to make waiting a little easier. Being able to wait is a great skill to learn!

Let’s PRACTICE!

Practice makes perfect. In order to master any skill you need to deliberately practice the skill. This makes it much easier to apply the skill in the moment when you need it the most. Try some of these practice activities to strengthen skills. Repeat, repeat, then repeat.

Stop for 5: Play a game similar to dance freeze. Have the students move about and talk until you say “wait”and hold up your hand. Use your fingers to countdown from 5 to 0 and then say “go”to have the students resume moving and talking again. It is important for your students to understand that “wait” does not mean “no” or “never”.  By counting down, your students will see that time is passing and that the desired outcome will happen eventually. Being able to fight the impulse to “go” is a skill you can strengthen with lots of practice. Get creative and come up with a variety of  fun, stop and go games to work on impulse control and self management.  Each time you play the game, countdown more slowly and have them wait a little longer.

Use a Calming Strategy: Help the student identify a quick in-the-moment calming strategy such as deep breathing or palm presses. Click the image below for a in-the-moment calming strategy handout you can try:

 Practice their strategy regularly, scheduling routine times to implement it (before each meal, or between tasks). Regular practice will make it easier to implement this strategy in the moment when the student is stressed or excited. If the wait will be a long while, consider calming activities that you can keep in a “wait” bin, such as coloring, tracing or preferred reading. Identify a specific waiting location such as a special chair.

Keep it in your thought bubble: Teach the concept of speech vs thought bubble. Every thought does not have to be spoken. Present flash cards with words or pictures in thought bubbles and speech bubbles. Click the image below for a free speech bubble/thought bubble handout!

Have students quickly respond by calling out the word (if in a speech bubble) or staying silent (thought bubble).  This works on improving impulse control.

Look for the OK to Go: Teach your student to look for clues thay say it is their turn. Practice this by having students count aloud, saying each number when given a cue. The teacher will look at a specific student to nonverbally signal that it is their turn to say the next number. You can play different varieties of this game. It will be important to reinforce students for waiting their turn.

Time to PRIME!

Use the priming bullets on the WAIT card to review the strategies you have practiced. If these strategies are fresh in the mind of your student, they are more likely to apply the strategies. Make a point of priming these strategies prior to situations that are typically challenging. For example, prime before a group discussion or before games that require turn-taking. Prime when you know you are going to be busy and unable to engage with the student. These are all strategies that have been practiced so the student should be very familiar with how to implement them. The priming session should be a positive pep talk to review these strategies and instill confidence in your student. If the student does not like to talk about it, simply give them the card as a visual reminder. By priming the student, you are setting them up for success.

PROMPT

Even with a priming session, the student may be very excited or impulsive and forget to wait. Instead of interrupting the activity with a verbal command, use the WAIT card as a visual prompt to wait. By using the card, you are not giving the student attention, which may reinforce the interruptive behavior. Eventually, you can use a more natural cue, such as putting up a hand or finger to prompt the student to wait.

Give PRAISE!

Our final pillar is the most important. We know that in order to increase any skill we need to actively reinforce the skill.  Any time you notice that the student does not interrupt, make a point of thanking them and giving them praise. It is easy to notice when the student is interrupting, but not so easy to notice when they are waiting. Remember that waiting is very challenging and that  the student may be working very hard to self-manage. You may not be able to give praise in the moment because doing so would interrupt (that would defeat the point), but take the time to do so as soon as it is appropriate. You may devise a subtle way to reinforce without interrupting such as quietly giving a thumbs up, a thank you post-it, or a sticker.

That’s it! Those are the 4 pillars to teach waiting. Each pillar is important in supporting the application and generalization of this critical social skill. Taking the time to implement all 4 pillars will result in the outcome you want. It may take some time so be patient and have fun with it. Teaching the skill with a positive attitude will help the student develop a positive association with the strategies. Developing your student’s confidence and ownership of the goal will help your student succeed.